


for ichiroumoriyama

by CasTheButler



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Blow Jobs, Ficlets, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, aftg gift exhange, angst inside, see inside the box
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 15:17:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8451460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CasTheButler/pseuds/CasTheButler
Summary: Ficlets for Jerejean and Kandriel.





	1. Kandriel: Plans

**Author's Note:**

> Kevin isn't used to being away from the others. He's pretending like he's coping.

It had been easy at first. Kevin hadn't even noticed. Andrew was two hours south, Neil was two hours north. Kevin just happened to be in the middle. Kevin was always in the middle with the two of them. Visiting Kevin made sense. But now with their new contracts Andrew and Neil are six and a half hours away and Kevin is alone. 

Kevin is alone and lonely. He shouldn't be. He has an entire team of people to keep him busy, his upstairs neighbour keeps inviting him over, but Kevin just smiles at her as politely as he can muster and crawls back to his tiny, dark home and drowns in a bottle of vodka. He honestly can't remember the last time he was sober. 

He can. He just doesn't want to think about it. It was here on this couch. Neil pressed against his side while Andrew sucked bruises into Neil's skin. Kevin and Neil had talked about Exy between Neil's moans and then gone to court to practice. He hadn't had a single drop. 

Kevin hates everything, he hates this urge to pick up the phone and say please come home. He wants to beg and beg and beg until he loses his voice. He doesn't understand it, he doesn't love them. He doesn't think he does anyway, doesn't love them the way people think he does, or he should. But they don't love each other like that either.

Neil and Andrew are puzzle pieces. They're pieces of his chess game that he can't win life without. Kevin might be the queen but you can't start if you have a knight and rook missing. 

Kevin is honest to god crying when his phone rings. He picks it up with shaky hands. He can barely click the answer button and when he does he's not sure how he feels about Neil's voice coming through it. 

“Kevin?” Neil asks, his voice is hoarse and distracted. 

“Yeah?” Kevin replies. 

“Just stay on the phone” Neil tells him. 

“Do you need something, where's Andrew?” Kevin questions, genuinely worried, Neil sounds so off. 

“Andrew's right, oh god, right here” Neil says, biting back a moan. Kevin's eyes widen for a moment. 

“Fuck. Neil?” Kevin's voice shakes, he can't help it, he's aroused. Neil just sounds so pretty when Andrew's getting him off. It was a nightmare back at Fox Tower. Kevin should have gotten a medal for his self control. A medal and a lifetime supply of alcohol.

“Do you want to know what he's doing with his mouth?” Neil asks, and yeah Kevin does, Kevin totally does. He doesn't say that though. 

“Just talk to me about your day. Did you have practice?”

“And Andrew thinks I'm predictable” Neil teases. He does as he's told though. He tells Kevin about the drills they ran, tells Kevin about some asshole on his team, tells Kevin thing after thing until he has to pause because he's too fucking busy orgasming.

“You satisfied Day?” Andrew's voice says down the phone and Kevin freezes. Andrew hums down the phone. 

“Yes, Yes, Yes” Kevin repeats it like a mantra, afraid that Andrew will hang up the phone. Andrew might hang up anyway. There's silence on the other end. 

There's seconds of silence. 

“I'm texting you an address” Andrew says and the line goes dead. Kevin looks at his phone, the address is a hotel, it's about half and hour from Kevin's apartment. 

Kevin leaves instantly.


	2. Jerejean: Toxic Cake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean doesn't know how to cope with Jeremy's birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jean has a panic attack in this. Also mentions Riko's abuse.

Every birthday party Jean has gone to since he was nine had been simple. He'd been told what time to arrive. He'd been told what to wear. he'd been told what to eat. He'd been told where to sit, next to Riko on the right. He'd known what was going to happen after the party, everything was so controlled and Jean thrived on it. 

Now he's been told nothing other than a vague arrival time and he's panicking, what if Jeremy doesn't like what he's wearing? Does Jeremy expect Jean to sit next to him or somewhere else entirely? If he gets there later than six pm will Jeremy be angry? Will Jean be punished?

No.

No.

No.

Jeremy would never.

Jeremy couldn't.

Jeremy would smile and pull him into a hug and run a hand through his hair and make sure he got something to eat. 

No.

No.

No.

It's okay. Jean is safe. 

No.

Jean really hates Jeremy. 

Jeremy is toxic.

Toxic because he makes him want

Toxic because his smiles put Jean at ease and make him feel safe. 

Jean isn't safe. 

Riko is going to come, Riko is going to come, 

Riko

Always

Comes. 

Riko is dead. 

Riko can't wrap his hands around Jean's throat, Riko can't hit Jean with his fists, Riko can't tie Jean to a bed and whip him and then force Jean to thank him for it. 

Jean can't breathe. 

The room is spinning. 

There are too many clothes on the floor.

Bright coloured t-shirts.

He's tried to stop wearing black.

There's an arm around his waist.

Jean fights against it, he wants to scream.

“Shh, Jean. I've got you, I've got you. I'm sorry” A voice tells him. Jean knows the voice, understands that it's Jeremy. Jean lets his legs go weak and they sink to the floor. Jeremy holds him so tightly. “I just need you to breathe” Jeremy says and Jean obeys. Obeying Jeremy is easy because he doesn't have to do it. 

Jean thinks he might be addicted to Jeremy.

Jean doesn't care.

Jean does not care.

Jean turns himself around so he can look at Jeremy properly. 

The other boy has his eyes closed, his head resting on the edge of Jean's bed.

Jean leans forward and carefully presses a kiss to Jeremy's cheek. Jeremy's eye lids flicker open and he stares at Jean. Jean can't pick the emotion so he automatically thinks he's done something wrong. The Trojans always tell him he's doing okay, he's doing fine. 

It's a hard habit to break.

He spends a large amount of time being scared of them or thinking they're worthless. 

He's getting better though, he's so much better. He's understanding more.

This time is different.

This team is different.

“Can I do that again?” Jean asks and Jeremy nods. 

So Jean kisses him. Kisses him everywhere.

Jeremy never says stop. Jeremy pulls him close. Jeremy smiles.

“I love you.” Jeremy tells him. 

Jean doesn't freeze, Jean smiles. 

Jean loves Jeremy back. 

He's allowed to love Jeremy back. 

He's his own person now, not anyone else's, every choice he makes is his own. 

He chooses not to be afraid.

He chooses not to let hatred and resentment control him. 

He chooses to love Jeremy. 

He sits next to Jeremy at his birthday party, he sits next to him as often as he can.


	3. Kandriel: Anything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil overhears Andrew and Kevin having a heated argument

There's yelling from his dorm room when Neil gets back from his run. It doesn't click at first but it shocks him to realise the argument coming from inside is being held in French.  
The fact Andrew can speak French at all should come as more of a surprise, however, Neil is quickly learning that Andrew's ability to pick up a new language is frighteningly superhuman.

“Do I even mean anything?” Kevin is yelling and Neil's hand freezes on the door handle. He doesn't want to interrupt.

“You mean nothing, Neil means nothing” Andrew's voice has its usual air of apathy but it's soft, calculated.

“Yeah” Kevin bites back, his voice has the same tone he uses when he's berating Neil for screwing up a practice drill he's laid out for them to do together.

“You're my nothing,” Andrew says.

“No. Neil's your nothing, I'm some guy you were screwing to pass the time. You love him” Kevin replies. Neil has to take a couple of steps back from the door. Kevin and Andrew had been having sex, so either Renee didn't know or she'd lied to save face. Neil wasn't sure which option was better, but he couldn't imagine Andrew outright lying to Renee. Neil's pretty sure she knew about him and Andrew before Neil did.

“I thought you'd be happy. You look at him like he's some kind of possession that you lost” Andrew's voice has gone cold now, the clear indifference is gone, something has made him angry. Neil's angry too. He shoves the door to their room open forcibly.

“No. You don't get to compare him to Riko” Neil snaps when the men inside register they've been interrupted, he doesn't pause for a breath before turning to Kevin and saying “And you could have told me, we don't have time for secrets.”  
Kevin stares at him for the longest moment, it's as if he's daring him to elaborate. Neil doesn't take the bait. It's Andrew that answers with a firm

“I don't have time to play games with you” breaking back into English.

“If I recall you have plenty of time to play games with Neil” Kevin mutters. Andrew shoots him a fuck off glare and turns his attention to Neil.

“Do you, Neil Josten, have any desire to fuck Kevin” Andrew asks. Neil freezes, he'd never considered it, his voice catches in his throat and then so does something else.

“I'm not sure” Neil replies carefully. Andrew tilts his head slightly.

“Yes or No” he drawls. Neil takes in as deep a breath as he dares without it seeming like he's taking one.

“I'd like to watch,” Neil says.

“Kevin?” Andrew questions, he doesn't need to say the yes or no. It's implied.

“Yes” Kevin breathes out and Andrew drops to his knees. Neil is not prepared for this but he doesn't dare to look away. It doesn't take long for Kevin to be coming apart and Neil wonders if he makes the same noises when Andrew is preforming these acts on him. Part of him hopes he does because Andrew deserves positive feedback, but a larger part hopes that he doesn't because it's loud and embarrassing. Andrew pulls off Kevin and turns to look at Neil. His eyes feel sharper than one of his knives.

“I'm done here.” Andrew says quietly and stalks out of the room.

“Do you think he's mad?” Kevin asks as he does his jeans up. Neil shrugs.

“I wouldn't know, I'm going to have a shower” he replies. Kevin looks like he's going to protest but he just nods instead. Neil pauses and looks at him “And Kevin, you are worth something.”


	4. Jerejean: Vulnerable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy wasn't always a good person.

Jeremy wasn't always the Jeremy he is now. The Jeremy other teams see. The Jeremy his team sees. At one point Jeremy was on the track for becoming the type of person that wound up a fox. 

A single mother who couldn't deal with the loss of his father, an older brother in prison. He was hardly the most well-adjusted person when the first bully approached him, but he just kept his head down and read his book. It got worse from there, they called him fat [Jeremy was a little bit chubby] they called him an idiot [that one made zero sense, considering he had the second highest test scores in the school]. Occasionally his things were taken and thrown onto rooftop and Jeremy would get in trouble trying to climb and get them off. 

Jeremy had once being told if you can't beat 'em join 'em and hit them where it hurts. So Jeremy concluded that doing both was the best course of action. So he joined his school Exy team.

Jeremy was good. So good in fact that he was the best player the team had ever seen. Fast. Precise. Strong. Playing Exy was like breathing air, and honestly, he liked the thrill of taking people that had treated him like shit down a peg or two. Violently. 

Exy was his only outlet for a long time and he made friends, he liked having friends it was something new for Jeremy, something to be cherished. Jeremy couldn't see that these were friends that he didn't need. Friends that were a little too delighted when Jeremy slammed full bodied into another player. Friends that shoved whisky bottles into his hand that burnt his throat at first and then made him feel so warm. Fuck he got so dependent on it. He'd never drink during practice or a game, but afterwards, afterwards, afterwards. He'd be so wasted that he'd forget he was even real. 

He spent a solid eighteen months like this. A solid eighteen months of a barely functioning existence where he was clinging onto anything that felt real.

and then Bobby came along. Bobby waltzed into Jeremy's life with a flannel shirt, a southern accent and a love for chilli cheese fries. Jeremy was prepared for a bigoted hick. What Jeremy got was a caring and soft spoken boy who loved to read and honest to god gave Jeremy a mix tape. Jeremy still remembers sliding it into his backpack with a forced thanks and then letting it sit there. It's not like he had anywhere to play it. He winds up hearing all the songs anyway.

Bobby is the person that helps Jeremy become Jeremy. It's like watching his life come apart in slow motion. He hits Bobby. Bobby hits the ground. His friends are proud. Jeremy feels sick. Jeremy throws out his alcohol. Jeremy apologises. Bobby forgives him. Jeremy develops a new strategy for playing Exy. By his senior year of high school, Jeremy is the team captain, he's well respected, he has scholarship offers. He's a good person. 

A genuinely good person. He over came his demons. 

And then Jean Moreau walks into his life like a class four hurricane. Jean Moreau is probably the worst thing to ever happen to him. 

He tells Kevin as much a few months into Jean signing with the Trojans. He's trying but Jeremy's patience is wearing thin. Kevin's only response is that he respects and admires Jeremy but that Jeremy can go fuck himself. Jeremy is slightly taken aback. Kevin has never been harsh with him before, even though Kevin is well, a dick. 

So he keeps trying with Jean and Jean keeps fighting and finally Jeremy decks him and he can feel the silence of his teammates and then he drags Jean literally screaming from the court. He shoves Jean against the lockers. 

“This has to stop. I don't want to be this person” Jeremy growls at him. Jean doesn't say anything and Jeremy lets him go. “I don't want you to be this person,” he says and this time when he looks at Jean he can feel tears swelling up. He hates everything about this. 

“I'm not a Trojan Jeremy. I'm not good like you” Jean says carefully. 

“Well, you're not a Raven either. Stop acting like one” Jeremy replies. They've made their way to the benches now and Jean's knee knocks against Jeremy's. Jeremy expects him to pull away but he doesn't. 

“I'm not sure if I'm a real person anymore,” Jean says.

“I know how that feels,” Jeremy tells him and Jean turns to look at him in surprise. “You make me  
feel like I did before I knew who I was.”

“I don't want you to feel like that” Jean whispers. His head is turned but Jeremy still hears him.

“Then maybe try not treating me like shit” Jeremy quips and Jean lets out a laugh. It's a nice sound on him. 

“I can try, but I don't make any promises,” Jean says. Jeremy knocks a playful shoulder into Jean's.

“You want to hang out tonight?” Jeremy asks. 

“Sure” Jean answers easily. It's not until later that Jeremy realises how vulnerable Jean makes him feel and that Jean is the best thing to ever happen to him.


End file.
